How Is He So Cute?
by messedupfruitsrotten
Summary: Mochida hates being the bratty Lambo's only subordinate. He especially hates it when Lambo's cute or when he unbuttons his shirt or when he... kisses him? Takes place TYL MochidaxLambo DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't know what my obsession is with random pairings. DinoxYama, YamaxSpanner, and now MochidaxLambo? This one's REALLY random though. I think I had older!Mochida interacting with older!Lambo in another one of my stories and thought it was so cute that I wrote this some time ago. Anyways, takes place TYL...**

**Review if you like it please~**

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><p>Hibari's subordinates were the workers of Foundation. Yamamoto's were faithful dogs who he usually acquired through swordfights. They'd then lose and vow to serve him. It was a very traditional type of situation. Ryohei's subordinates often came from afar, hoping to work for this legend or at least get a glimpse of him. Mukuro and Chrome, of course, had their own gang and Gokudera's followers were mostly (secret) admirers who had been taken by the right hand man's strength, intelligence, and beauty – this group consisted of both men and women. Tsuna had stated that his Guardians were all the help he needed, but eventually allowed himself to gain subordinates when the willing started waiting around the headquarters like stray puppies looking for a home.<p>

Lambo had Mochida. And only Mochida. And that wasn't even from Mochida's own will. Summed up it went something like:

"Let me work under you please, Tenth!" Said Mochida.

"Hmmm, sure, why not?" Replied Tsuna.

"I want subordinates too!" Cried Twelve year-old Lambo.

"Here, have Mochida!" Laughed Tsuna.

"Nooooooooooo!" Bellowed Mochida.

Of course it didn't actually happen like that. In the end, Mochida basically ended up as an overused, overworked, mistreated butler for the bratty Lightning Guardian. Getting the boy drinks or snacks, driving him from place to place, running on small errands, doing his homework, shielding him from anything scary, and overall being Lambo's bitch was Mochida's job. He hated it.

Lambo could be very demanding and arrogant, not to mention a lazy crybaby. And a womanizer, Lambo had turned out to be a huge womanizer. It actually tended to make Mochida quite jealous that a fifteen year-old could get more tail than he could. He wished he had time for a nice date, but he was doing so much worrying about Lambo that he rarely had time to worry about himself.

Fuuta did take care of Lambo a lot ever since Nana and Iemitsu went to live in Italy. Fuuta had constantly babysat and tutored Lambo. He fed Lambo, washed Lambo, and until Lambo got too big, read him stories until he fell asleep. Fuuta's high school years was an easy time for Mochida since he only had to do things like drive Lambo around or playing with the boy when Fuuta was busy. But then Fuuta entered university and became too engaged with his education to take care of another person. So, this task was left up to Mochida.

Mochida once tried to dump Lambo on Bianchi. Bianchi was responsible for I-Pin who she trained and looked after. I-Pin didn't need too much looking after though. She was a mature and strong young lady, very different from the whiny and needy Lambo.

So when Mochida said, "You know, waka is very attached to you, Bianchi-san."

Bianchi replied, "Oh, but the runt's much more attached to you, Mochida!"

The two glared at each other.

"But haven't you been by his side longer, Bianchi-san!"

"Aren't you his precious first subordinate, Mochida!"

"What do you have better to do than raise an important child, Bianchi-san!"

"I have plenty of assassinations to keep me busy, Mochida!"

"Bianchi-san!"

"Mochida!"

More glaring then a steaming helping of poison cooking revealed itself.

"You will take care of Romeo," Bianchi said menacingly. "Got it…?"

Mochida raised an eyebrow. "Wh-what? Who?"

After that event it was settled that Bianchi could not watch Lambo. Mochida once was going to ask if Haru and Kyoko would try to keep Lambo more preoccupied, but ultimately felt bad about handing his troubling duties over to the sweet, innocent girls. He was almost definite that Lambo would take advantage of their kindness and turn out more spoiled than he already was. Hana was out of the question. She didn't like anyone under 20, she thought they were ignorant brats with no idea how the world truly worked. It seemed that every now and then, the age limit for "people who Hana could stand being around" went up.

This left Mochida to be, as was mentioned earlier, completely and utterly (with little to no hope of escape) Lambo's squealing, pathetic submissive bitch.

"Mochida-tan~" Lambo sung into the phone. "I'm bored…"

"So?" Mochida griped on the other line as he sat at Lambo's desk in the headquarters. Despite being scolded by Tsuna for this over and over, Lambo often forced Mochida to do his work for him. While Mochida slaved away over several papers, Lambo sat around at his apartment or played with girls. It was a very infuriating situation for Mochida.

"Come entertain me!" Lambo commanded.

Mochida scoffed. "You idiot, what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Hey, don't talk to me like that! Show some respect!"

Mochida really surprised himself sometimes. He found it to be a miracle that he hadn't tried to murder Lambo by now. He was sincerely proud that he had managed to hold in his anger enough to where he's never even attempted to strike the boy. He believed he deserved a medal for that.

"I have work to do here, waka," Mochida said, hesitating on the last word.

"That's better," Lambo huffed. "Hmm… stop working and come pick me up."

"No way! All this needs to be done by tomorrow night!"

"Then do it tomorrow."

"How about _you_ do it tomorrow?"

"Nah, it's too much. Now come get me. I'm. So. Bored."

As the dial tone buzzed in his ear, Mochida could feel his blood boil. He wondered how one person could be so self-centered. I-Pin turned out as a lovely and hard-working girl who's both punctual and polite. Lambo couldn't be more of the opposite. This really puzzled Mochida since he was sure they were raised the same way. He considered his theory that the first five years of your life determine how you would behave from then on.

Mochida took his time going to pick Lambo up. He wondered what they would go do this time. Lambo was always asking to do random stuff when he was bored. Plenty of times it was throwing a party, sometimes it was inviting people out to go to expensive shopping centers, and he even dared occasionally request to travel to ridiculous places. By himself, Lambo was somehow talkative, but laid-back. He'd go on about school and music and the mafia and his friends and everything he loved without raising his voice or even being too annoying. But around people, Lambo yelled and danced like he was sucking in everyone's energy. That was one of the reasons why Mochida preferred Lambo do things that were just the two of them when he was bored.

According to his mood, Lambo would ask Mochida to see a movie with him. Or accompany him to a park or café. Now and again, Lambo wouldn't even want to go anywhere. He'd just want Mochida to laze around the apartment with him, cook or order food, and watch TV. As relaxed as Mochida felt during these times, he also couldn't help but feel severely uncomfortable. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something about the feeling he got when Lambo laughed happily and he knew he was the only one seeing Lambo smile in such a way… something about it made him uneasy.

"I'm here!" Mochida called as he knocked on Lambo's apartment door.

"It's open," Lambo called back.

Mochida groaned and walked in. After locking the door behind him, he kicked off his shoes and moved to the couch where Lambo was laying.

"It's dangerous to leave your door open like that, waka," the man said.

"Whatever," Lambo whined, turning over on his side. They sat in silence for a few moments. "What do you want to do?"

It was another one of those moments where Mochida had to resist strangling Lambo right then and there.

"I thought you already had an idea of what you wanted to do?"

"No! Don't you know it's hard to come up with something fun when you're bored? All you can think of is how bored you are!"

Mochida was about to protest, but he fully understood. Still, it pissed him off to no end. As he grit his teeth, he thought about what they should do for entertainment.

"Well, I would personally like to train," Mochida reluctantly admitted aloud.

"That's dumb!" was Lambo's swift reply.

Mochida wished he had just not said anything. Lambo would spar with I-Pin and the other guardians on a weekly basis to keep him alert. No matter how one looked at it, despite his age compared to the others, he was still a guardian and therefore had to have strength at their level in order to protect himself and others. The adults were always pressuring the indolent Lambo to work harder, but he'd always wave his hand at them and claim that he was 'strong enough.'

"Mochida~" Lambo whined again in a manner that drove Mochida crazy. It made his heart go five times faster and head whirl. He, like his job, hated it.

"Why don't you go play with some of your little friends?" the man snapped.

"They're all busy, you dummy," Lambo complained. "If they weren't, I'd be talking to them right now and not you."

This made Mochida's chest sting. His face flared red as he turned away and crossed his arms.

"Then go make new ones!" Mochida shouted. "How am I supposed to know what you want to do? You're so annoying!"

"You're so mean," Lambo huffed. "Fine. Let's go somewhere!"

"Where?"

"Um… let's just drive until we see something fun!"

Mochida grunted as he stood and mumbled "Waste of gas," as the two marched out the door.

Lambo was a very distracting person. Mochida hated, like his job, car rides with Lambo. The boy was constantly pointing out one thing or another (like "That lady's underwear's showing!" or "That man has horrible fashion tastes…"). He couldn't help but have his gums flapping the entire time. If there was nothing to talk about, he'd make something up. Sometimes he'd turn up the radio and sing along. When it was hot, Lambo would be as indecent as to unbutton his shirt halfway so that most of his bare chest was exposed, there'd even be times where he'd let some of his smooth stomach show. And with sweat running down his body in a sensual way that only Lambo could manage, it was all very distracting to Mochida. Very distracting indeed.

Mochida hands rested on the wheel as they slowly drove about Namimori.

"Could you at least give me the slightest idea of where you want to—" the man had begun to say.

"Oh," Lambo gasped quietly while staring out the window. "It's I-Pin."

Mochida peeked out Lambo's window in time to see the Chinese girl standing on the street throw her ramen delivery into the air, provide some thugs with a couple of punches and roundhouse kicks, then catch the delivery in the palm of her hand. Everyone nearby clapped, including Lambo who was wearing a straight face.

"Good job," he remarked.

"This isn't a scene someone should treat so casually!" Mochida noted.

I-Pin bowed to her adoring audience with a red face before she spotted Lambo poking his head out the car.

"Lambo," she called out happily, waving.

Lambo waved back with a smile. "I'm bored!" He said sing-songy. "Play with me after work!"

I-Pin frowned. "I have to study. Sorry, Lambo…"

The boy replied by sticking his tongue out. "Boo!" he exclaimed before turning to Mochida and telling him to drive on.

"Lame!" Lambo scoffed. "Why is she so busy with work and school?"

"You should be too!" Mochida said.

"Whatever, whatever!"

Things were relatively quiet after that as the evening set on, the sky darkening gradually, pleasantly. Occasionally Lambo would say something silly, but more rarely he'd make a serious comment on the beauty of Namimori or the relative amount of peace that the Vongola had obtained for it.

Eventually, the mood had led Lambo to fall asleep. Mochida smiled at this before heading back to Lambo's apartment where he sat awkwardly with the unconscious boy by his side.

"Waka," he stated firmly. "Waka."

He poked the dreaming form making Lambo's face scrunch up in distaste before he squirmed into a more comfortable position in his seat, leaving more of his face revealed to Mochida.

The man gulped. Lambo really was pretty. He could understand how he got girls in that sense, but his personality really ruined his good looks. If Lambo just didn't talk he'd be perfect, Mochida thought. He felt his cheeks tint pink. Perfect for what? He asked himself.

"Waka," Mochida said one more time.

Lambo's eyes fluttered open. "I-Pin?" he whispered sleepily.

"What?" Mochida retorted and before he could react or put anything together or keep his mind from falling apart, Lambo leaned over, closing the distance between them, and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. Afterwards, Lambo drowsily landed in Mochida's lap.

All the subordinate could do was scream. He truly loathed his job.


	2. This fic is dead but

This fic is dead, but you can still enjoy and review. I might just revive it one day :P


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